My article myself definition

My article myself definition

July 22th 1990 the year I was born a Kenyan citizen in a  third  world war country in  African .But one thing we should know is that we don’t get to choose where we are born or who gives  birth to us…It never matters which country you  were  born in, all that matters is the kind of family and environment I or you grew up in. Well my name is Rogers  Otiato  and this is my story.

It  wasn’t long  till I finally  saw my parents face plus my three other siblings  only to come to terms that I was not alone that is when  I was like 4 or 5 years old and that is when I learnt my family members names other than the usual  papa and mama… My three sibling’s names were……..

Banis ,she is the eldest one …Flavia, she is the second in the family …Aquinas  he was the third in the family and then me as the last but the least  I Rogers. For my parents names  are Roséline  and  peter  Otiato the most beautiful  caring  heads of the family I have ever had in my entire life. It was the best happiest moments In my life having such a family , my dad worked  really hard that we didn’t have to luck anything  and we were  so thankful and grateful for all he ever did  so as to our mom too. Growing up I really loved sports to be precise basketball it was my sport …I used to look up to Lebron James as my mentor in the game. Then it happened one day I had a basketball in my hands from that day I never looked back to any kind of sport again because I found refuge in this beautiful game that was when I was at 13yrs.

Through the years nothing went wrong , my entire life I have never believed in any kind of the words (unfortunate happenings) till it befall my family.

2008 the year it all started the year that ruin my inner most untapped storage of  my memories …they all turned into these dark thick cloud  that I don’t know if it will ever disappear  all because it made a huge mark..a mark that I don’t think it  will ever heal because it’s  like an open wound a wound that I do go to sleep seeing it , feeling it ,  waking up to it and the circle never ends .My dad was just on his daily work schedule ever smiling person loving and the most caring dad I have ever had, then come the month that he become sick, August ,the month my dad made numerous trips to hospital for health checkup  but  despite  all these my dad was a strongest  guy I ever new ,he still made it to work each and every day.

Peter  Otiato(my dads  full name) he wanted the best if not  the very  best for us, at work people loved him so much even the manager himself  because he used to tell us all about his work mates and how much he loves his work and how he was going to be promoted to a new position (supervisor)that was the vacancy he was about to fill after along dedication and hard work he had to put  on his entire work life .

I can still remember his words vividly  like  he told us ……

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‘I started as a cleaner but I never  felt  jealous or angry at what I was doing because I loved it a couple  of years later I was pushed up the rank a little bit to a waiter position  but to some period of time till my  job  come to an end but I never walked with my head down why all because of you guys I have to keep it going for you my children …..but it wouldn’t  last a long time before I had a new job but this time I wasn’t a  cleaner I was a waiter and till date am that waiter  but our life is about to change”. That was my dad. Well we did not understand at that time by what he meant by saying  our life was about to change, but with time we come to terms with those words,  he was to be promoted to a supervisor and that was a very big accomplishment to him and to his entire family by say the entire family I mean my dad had two wives  and my mom was the second wife our step family they were so many total  eight in number. with all this still my dad would  push on but it all come heavier on him and he had to stop and take care of his health …as all this unfolds he was staying with my mom  reason being he wanted to stay close to his family ..Well my step mom was the one who had to go up country and stay there and one to stay in city with my dad.

After a long battle of his illness it all come to a stop (the year of election a lot of things  happening at the time  ...sirens ,gun shots ,screams I hated every bit of it and we were right in the middle of it ) My dad never heard the announcement of the president or saw the swearing in of the new president but that was not a problem because one thing I loved about our dad is that he was never into politics.. it  was also the year I passed my 8^th grade and I was to join 9^th grade because he really wanted it for me  I still  have words in my mind about him wanting me to go to  university  leave alone that he never saw me full filling my first hurdle of joining high school and it really pained me a lot and a part of me since that day was lost.

After my dad passed away it really hit us hard but thanks to the lord we were able to over come all that had happened to us although it took us some time to finally come to terms that our dad was no longer with us ….that’s  where my mom was at her lowest but she kept on fighting for us her children and we never let her down through all adversities one step a day and we were back to being us and holding our dads memories at heart and move on.

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At last everything was back to normal and everyone back to their daily routines..for it was o go ahead and join high school and that’s what happened I was able to be a freshman at  a community high school namely (Dandora High School) in which at that time it was the most dangerous school at that time but that never killed my studies and my dreams of what I wanted to be , that’s why it’s very important that I had to graduate high school all because my two sisters  graduated high school and went to college and had their papers to much it as well but my brother never joined  high school because my parents thought he was not going to make it so they had to do something soon enough and they did it by sending him to take up a mechanical course in which he did well and enjoyed doing and that’s how my brothers feature looked up.

As all that was happening I was having a different experience in high school too …most of the things I used to hear from our parents most were true but some were exactly the opposite of right cause they were the worst all, in high is where you choose what you want to do or which kind of a person you want to be in the society after 4years ….there are three options to choose from (1-university 2-college 3- entrepreneur) but they are not all actually  there is the last option they are normally (5) in total the last one has never been talked about nor brought up and it is the most crucial and brutal to someone’s life the option of being nobody in the society…which leads to unwanted circumstances in once life that later are so painful and unforgettable.

Sophomore in high school something happened that torn me apart from the inside so bad that I never thought I would ever be myself again..it was my brother he was diagnosed with meningitis an illness that never gave him much time on this earth , I had to stop schooling for a couple of days to attended the burial.  through all this  it was so hard for my mom to take in because  a couple of years back we said goodbye to our dad his husband now it is her son it never felt nice to her she was at her lowest and it really pained me to see her in that situation and since that day has never been the same and I do miss my mom so much…one thing I should tell you is that with both most important people I lost in my life I never cried  in any of the funerals I don’t know why but I hated saying goodbye to them but little did I know what it do to me because after all that I was a change person both at heart and mind plus it implicated something else in me that I never had silence I just could not helpless around my family.

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 My  4years suddenly come to a stop and I graduated high school but there was another  hurdle in front of me and my dreams that was how I was going to make it to university or college the feature seemed gloomy at site but my mom did not let it get on my way   she made it possible and after a few years I was able to join college to study my much loved dream course Information Technology and I did Diploma level , that was enough  for me the rest now lies with me, my mom did what she had to do so that I could have some papers and to prove myself , to my dad , my brother that I did it I never stayed out of school because they had to leave so early to the afterlife  I never wanted that to be an excuse to my life passed on to my kids, I want them to know that I stayed in school despite what I went through growing up.

Years have passed , days turned into nights  , minutes into hours and I still remember them till date .well all that come with a cost too and it was a big one , it affected mom pretty much and it was the most damaging of all ..my mom at some point had to be hospitalized because she developed an illness that made her act crazy and it never suncked in me that I will come to see my mom so (depressed)so depressed that she did something that only someone not in his/her on right mind would do and that is how I never recovered my joyful ,happy free minded mom ever she lost her smile that to me never went well till date even as I  am writing this article but what happened can never be reversed by any human accept God .

Now a lot is going on a lot that I can’t handle to a point that I have given up all because I don’t have a family the only family I have is my girlfriend soon very soon to be my wife she Is the point and the bridge of my still moving, leaving and breathing because whenever I call and talk to her I just be me at that moment and when am with her everything going on in my life is blocked out and its only me with her at that moment all because she showed me the most important thing someone needs and that was pure love 100%, I never believed in true love till she entered my life and I do love her the someway just her no shades. In case  you wanted to know her I can only give the first name Winey.

One thing that was never taken from me or lost touch of was my love for basketball that is what I still fall back to no matter all my down low basketball also helps me to get back on track when I feel am lost and my girl is no near or around to help me up. Basketball is a very beautiful game in fact it’s a gentleman’s game why would I say that because  in this game especially when you are a player and a damn good one you also become a very good player off the basketball court too and a very good plus a bad one too. I love the game and do play it very well and the package that comes it is sometimes good but ugly in your love life cause you can loose a lot because of what you liked and chanced but that’s it and it is a game of basketball.

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How I wish my family never broke up emotionally that’s what is hurting me the most , yes physically they are there but no one is smiling plus they are so distance from each other and what else is there for me to do I have tried what I could possibly do or think of to make them come together and fix things but every one has pride where does that leave me I mean is not that am the holy one but I changed my character and behavior for a reason but it looks like they never saw it or  noticed  but still they painted me aside like some road side paint that no one ever ask about nor cared to looked at it or stop and picked it up dust it and hanged somewhere on his/her wall but I never  talked nor will I fade way. If only my dad  and my brother would save their breath a little longer I couldn’t  had these distanced memories in my life today all cause I just don’t know my family like I used to know them it still hurts and I don’t think it will ever go away.