THIS IS LIFE

THE CROSS ROAD OF HUMAN BEINGS

What is life? Is it a path chosen by humans to follow or is it something we see as a gift given to us but we never really come to understand what it really means. To live is to be what we wish to be, and not what we see on the news nor the early morning papers but what we enjoy doing and to do it without a doubt in our minds and with out fear of what may come. It’s hard when you grow up in a world full of hate and deceit between humans, between families between friends even between lovers. We have been given life to embrace it not try and find fault with others when we can’t even see what faults lay in our own life or even genetic make up. My eighteenth birthday I spent with a girl and we spoke about destiny and how it just happens but I don't believe that, destiny is what we make of it. Its how a man or a woman can choose to work hard and be a well known name in the world or just go into a totally different lifestyle and end up with anyone and try and be happy. This life is a bitter sweet symphony but the whole irony is that we are the ones in charge and we never get to that point in understanding it until we have lost it, its amazing how we end up looking at things in retrospect and how we end up looking up and asking why did this happen or what did I do. We never get answers to such questions because we are too busy asking all the wrong questions and to all the wrong people. When you mess up in life God can not tell you what you did or where you went wrong, he is there to give you faith and to make you understand that the grass in the other side is no more greener. Its funny how when you turn eighteen its like a shock, people calling you and going on and on abut how great it is, but you want to know the truth its what you make of it. Eighteen is just a number put to show that you have grown in this world but it means nothing if you haven’t come to understand that it means self realization, it means that how ever far you go or how high you are on the social hierarchy you are lost if you don't know who you are or what you want. It doesn’t mean that you want a new car or a girlfriend, it’s about whether or not you sat down and stared out into the distance and said “Oh my good lord, I am walking a path that I haven’t chosen for myself”. Walk not where your feet take you but where your passion for a burning ambition lies and when you walk the path you chose, never put your head down for walk, walk with your head high and your goal in mind and believe me nothing and no one will ever question you because you know what you want and you are not one of the masses.

Mr. Dictionary  (my English teacher) who I don't think I will ever forget always told me that you never really know when life and the harsh reality will hit you in the face but the sooner you are willing to accept it that much easier will it be to achieve what you want. Times like these I wish I had told him that he was one of the greatest people I ever met, when it was his class it was never teaching with force, it was wanting to learn from him, and boy did we learn. Writing poetry is one thing I enjoy the most but in honest truth I find it the easiest way to explain the common thought processes of any human mind and try to explore it by writing about other varied aspects of life. It’s like when you want to tell that special some how much you care but those three words just don't cut it, when you want to say “how if the world burnt down in flames my love for you will keep us both alive just so that I can love you more”. Love, what is love in times like these? when you see a pretty young girl walking around with a forty year old man, I call it infatuation and nothing else. Then you sit down and think why she can’t be with me, well the simple truth lies in what I said about destiny. Do you honestly want to be some forty year old walking with a girl who loves you for your money? Or do you want destiny to be such that you find a girl that loves you for who you are and not what your worth? I am no philosopher but I know that I am no idiot in fact none of us are, its just that we aren’t capable to see what we can achieve because we still haven’t been hit by the reality that life holds, self realization is the key my friends and nothing else will ever open the doors of glory that awaits you. “I hate my life” these four words have become common chant amongst the new generation but why do they hate it? Because you are fat, ugly, too thin, too many pimples or is it because you cannot see the beauty that lies in your soul. SEGREGATION!!! It has destroyed our world and yet we fail to understand that we are creating a world where the hate will only be inflicted on us as we grow. Leaders died trying to fight it but we don't see why we one see what our eyes want us to see, “bring forth your soul filled with hate and I will love you for I have no better way of making you understand” this is what I have to say to all the damn racists and prejudice fools who run around hurting people only because they are afraid that those very people will be better than them, only because they are afraid to love for they are afraid of what powers love has and how it transforms.

I am no philosopher but these words come from a boy who wishes not to say good bye to the blue skies, these words come from a heart that has been judged too many times for it to worry about what people think. If me having to say I love you to every person in the world to make it a better place then what am I waiting for, what are you waiting for, what are we all waiting for. It never to late to change anything, my mom always said that, and believe me it isn’t. With the world at my doorstep with my faith I put one step after another to try and be who I want to and not have to for I have come to understand that embracing life is the best way to find out what you really need out of it.

“I know you and you know me, one thing I can tell you is we gotta be free…. Come together right now…. Over me!” -Beatles

The common ideologies of man can somewhat be disturbing to a foreign soul, for example when a huge figure in any market falls it releases havoc in our Indian community. Such ideologies are pretty weird like burning a shop or a car on the death of a monumental figure in a particular industry, again life shows us what we miss and what we might just be happy we missed. It gets even better when we start comparing these social ideologies with our everyday lives, like how listening to trance music means that you most definitely have to be a junkie or how if you dress a certain way you are looked down on. It’s the biggest disease that eats man and kills what ever personality he has left, why are we ever so judgmental on almost everything that exists and everything that surrounds our everyday lives. It’s hard to look into such a foggy lens and try to wipe it clean, when we don’t even know how it all started and how it is constantly affecting our lives but we barely recognize it. Life is said to be a box of chocolates and you never really know what you may come by but I would really like to rephrase that and say that life is a box of what ever you may want it to be and it’s only in what we truly know and truly understand what we are meant to do at the end of it all it still boils down to self realization and the complete understanding of what we wish to be and how we on our own steam are gonna get there. It kind of makes you wonder this thing called “Self Realization”.

“I think, Therefore I am!” -Rene Descartes

Many of these quotes can never really be understood unless you can dig deep enough in your own soul and ponder for an answer as it would make no sense until you have made sense of it on your own. We hear about the enlightenment of human souls but have we ever sat down and wondered how it is possible to attain such a divine gift. It’s not chanting one word nor is it having a undying belief, when I thought about it I found it to be asking the right questions and then not waiting for an answer but deciphering that answer for our self as it would only help us better understand that once we can conquer our self then and only then can we conquer the world.” most people think god will come down from the sky and make everyone feel high, life is your right… you can’t give up the fight” this was said by Bob Marley, it is true, it’s our right and we can never give up and let go for every breath we take for a cause that we believe in will only make our souls that much happier because its something we believe in and not something we are made to believe in. The oppressed talk about a life some people are not accustomed to but why can’t we try and understand what they are really trying to say? Well I think that life is such that when shit falls on someone’s head, money might fall in some one else’s hand and when the vice-versa occurs we never give a shit for anyone else because we have our own problems to deal with. That’s why I guess families are the only people who will always be there to save your skin no matter what and that they love you even though they may never show it. Life is something even if I pondered for eternity I don’t think I will ever understand it but what really matters is that at least I know what I have to do and mainly I know what I want to do. Theoretically I don’t even know if this makes sense but I guess it’s for you who ever may come across it will try and tune into the wave band I am on and try and understand what I think and what I have come to learn from this world, and the essence is that maybe once you are done reading this you will at least think of me at least once after reading it. I guess in the end no matter what shit happens to you or how bad it can get you down, we must always remember that there are some things which will be and the rest well the rest we will just leave it to the lord god above. How does a small thing or a small incident make you feel like you want to die and some make you soo high, simple because we choose to, no matter what happens to you if you can make yourself believe that it doesn’t really matter much right now and you can move on then those very tense and exciting feeling will run away like scared sheep.

“Does every one have a different take, do you seem real but I seem fake, does everyone get hypnotized by your fire?” – James Blunt

That quote is very deep it brings out the true meaning of judgment, it brings about that certain reality and how it seriously affects the way we function in our day to day functions. Its funny how some words can make your day and that same phrase can just destroy what ever you thought you believed in, is it really true that life will hold tests far beyond your imagination but you will have a solution to such problems but never will you get your answers until you have realized. Realize that this world can come to any conclusion it may want to but as long as you are always there to put those comments out like a small little candle flame, you must never tax yourself on such matters simply because it isn’t worth it. “I see no bravery…. no bravery in your eyes anymore, only sadness” said by James Blunt and it is true I don't see bravery in the eyes of the youth of today I see sadness, hurt, guilt, sin, anger and worst of all lies but again I am lost to these weird and mysterious antics put up by us. It’s like the whole world is sitting down to watch a movie and if you don’t do your best then your out of the picture, is that what we are doing making other people happy. Do you walk out with a pretty date just to make your friends happy and not really care what happens and how it happens, but as long the million watching are pleased then why bother. How I hate the insecurities of man, it is like nerve gas but the only problem is that it will kill you surely but you don’t mind dying by it. It comes down to whether or not you want to live your life for yourself or do you want to show off to everyone else and go to your room curl up in a corner and cry. Cry in a soft feeble voice so that no one hears you and then wake up the next morning and begin that same poison that kills you, live life for yourself for if you don't then even god will begin to feel sorry for you.

“You have no adventure left…. You have already done everything”- Harshini Kapoor

SEX!! What exactly it means; according to the dictionary sex is when a man and a woman come together in sexual intercourse. Now what is sex known as nowadays; well off late sex is know as what teenagers do after they have started drugs which obviously only started when they started drinking and smoking, astonishing as it may seem this is exactly what happens but it doesn’t really happen cause as many of my friends would put it “Man sex, drugs and alcohol…. Its nothing but a big wet fantasy” then we would all burst out laughing, then we would see this pretty girl walk by and wish it were all true and that it were that simple. I still don't get what’s the adventure in sex, yes sure it that one special thing for that one special person, but aren’t there better things to call an adventure rather than sex. I would think of an adventure as jumping of a plane with a parachute strapped to your back while drinking a can of beer while falling from 20,000 feet an adventure or maybe running 10 Km to tell a girl how much you love her while carrying a box of blue berry cheese cake and some flowers, now that’s an adventure! It’s funny when parents think that’s they know you are having sex and they become all hysterical, I remember once I got all dressed up cause I had a date with a very old friend of mine, and my aunt asked me where I was off to and I explained what were my plans. Suddenly five minutes later I find myself in a room with my aunt and her talking to me about sex and drugs! Well I busted out with laughter basically cause I found that moment hilarious and the fact that she came to the assumption that I got all dressed up to go and do drugs and then later on have sex. Well in the end it was all love and care but seriously I wanna tell parents out there that chill out or else their fears will drive them to their grave, kids of today how ever bad they might be but we are a generation of thinkers, so I think that parents should respect that much of any kid’s intelligence.

“I am the outsider- Sameer Kapoor”

Its funny when you come back to a place you have left a long time ago, you always come to understand that you are an outsider and that no matter what you do, things will just never change. It’s like when you fight with a person who people have constantly warned you about but then you come to realize that maybe he is just itching for a reason to get you into trouble. Then when you can hold yourself back and contain your anger no matter what is being said or done, when you can walk away showing humbleness you realize that you again have just conquered another part of your mind and self realization is taking a slow but genuine effect on you as a person. Its these analogies that come to my head is what really shows me about my self realization, it’s like this one I came up with the other day stating how I would rather be a dim light facing the sun rather than a bright light facing a black hole. I would say I stand very true to this statement simply because I think that no matter who you are or where you come from it is what you do to the people around is what will actually show you what you can do for the people you are going to meet, or even what you can do for the people around the world. I started this paragraph with a very generalized thought that no matter what you do things will never change but I have come to realize that change takes time and that the acceptance of some people takes times or more over you as an entity trying to understand and accept the other entities around you will most definitely take time as it is an ever growing, changing and learning process that we all must go through at some point of time.

“Time to stop writing, time to start studying” – Sandeep Sehgal

It’s been nearly a year since I wrote, and somehow it makes sense. For me writing was a way of escaping reality and getting away from  world of conformists into your own world of no co-operation and no conformity. Mr. Sehgal said” time to stop writing” I remember calling him an ass, but now I regret it, simply because I was so lost in my own world of words and exploration I forgot all about an adventure I started 19 years ago when I was born, the adventure called LIFE!  Too busy in my own world to realize im losing every iota of the world I am living in. All our lives we fight every single piece of advice we are given only to fall flat on our face when we hit a certain age and realize that I cant believe that I had all the time and all the people in the world to help me with this issue but I threw it all away. Strange when we think about it  is’nt it? Sometimes I feel that the world would be a better place if we just listened but then again we are young, robust, strong and ofcourse we think we know everything and that everybody else is just judging us without taking a deeper look but believe me they have been there done that and come back only to make sure u don’t go through the same nonsense that they went through and make sure u don’t waste your time like they did. I taught a kid how to play chess one day, and he wasn’t very good but a month later he challenged me to a game and destroyed me. Surprised I asked him how did he improve so much in such a short period of time. He said he sat down and practiced.  Imagine a boy who could’nt read english just beat the sense out of me in chess. Imagine if we spent all that time we wasted for whatever reason on something more constructive, imagine……just imagine.

 Since you have been reading this long let me update you on what exploring I have been upto in the past year. After the advice from Mr. Sehgal I decided to start studying and get on with my exams. Once my exams were done I had to leave for Global Youth Leadership Conferrence (GYLC) in Europe. I cant even begin to tell you the amount of fun I had for the first time in my life the huge amounts of fun and laughter, the conferrence was quite demanding but the people that I got to know at GYLC were really people I could connect with. I met people from all around the world and I learnt so much bout how connected we all were and most of all how similar we all are.

                                               

                                               BY  ROGERS OTIATO

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